Self improvement is...

I don’t typically want to be “that guy” that quotes Fight Club, but there was always this line that I never quite clicked with until recently:

“Self improvement is masturbation.” –Tyler Durden.

I always thought that was just some line thrown in to make Brad Pitt sound even cooler than he already was so I never quite got the line… until I saw this.

I generally don’t let the things I see in the bottomless well of despair, that is the internet, bother me, but every now and then some buoyant piece of putrescence floats up within smelling distance and gets me to seething. This week’s facepalm was just this. This is something people are doing. Sure not many people are doing it and there are worse things happening out there happening but as I thought about why something this ridiculous would make me so angry I came to realize:

1. Men have failed women. Men who fail to make the women in their lives understand that they are indeed beautiful simply for being. When things like #uglychicksarentallowed are trends on Twitter, We have failed. When it is astounding to the press that a couple is married for 40, 50 or 60 years, we have failed. When a girl shoves a tube up her nose in an obsessive attempt to lose ten pounds, we have failed.

This is not to say men do not do their fair share of silly things. Men have insecurities as well but men also have an interesting mechanism that activates when we make a girl feel pretty or special. So as an open call to men to spread the word: SACK UP. Hold a door open for a girl. Tell her she looks nice. Stop talking about how hot she is and how hot she isn’t. Stop letting the basest instincts define the value put on someone. You don’t have to marry a girl if you tell her she looks pretty just do it. Who knows? The ladies might reciprocate and the world would be just a bit happier.

2. “Self improvement is masturbation.”

I knew I was going somewhere with this. There are two reasons to improve yourself: Selfish and Selfless. The article above makes this sound like it is motivated by weight loss. That is in essence a desire to be healthy but the means of this diet are in no way healthy: mentally or physically. This is all about looking a certain way. I work in a gym part time and when you do something that silly you see a lot of silly things. Women who are not grossly overweight convinced of their obesity will claim “My husband thinks this extra 5 lbs is just disgusting!” (Paraphrased true story also husband read above…ass.)

Now the thought process of working out to look a certain way was an easy trap to fall into for me. Did you see that guy in Thor? He looked awesome! Man, how awesome would it be to look like that. Yeah guys do that too. It all came down to selfish vanity. I had to break away from that and there are plenty of people who are in this trap as well. I remember an awesome quote from Tony Horton (the p90x guy) that said something to the effect: if you are working out to look like someone else you will always be disappointed but if you work out towards a fitness or health goal then the aesthetics are the reward that comes with that. This is true, if we work on ourselves in any aspect of our lives. If we work towards what we think is how we need to be or how we need to look then it will never be good enough especially if we only focus on the physical because the great truth of the situation is: We are going to die. Will anyone at your wake be talking about your abs? If so then you are boring. Go Away.

Though Lent is over, let’s think back to Ash Wednesday. If you happened to be in a parish that says the softer handed “repent and receive the gospel” line as they trace ash on you, alright, but I am a fan of “Remember O man, that you are dust and unto dust you shall return.” Fancy way of saying, think about what you are doing because you sir, are going to die. This mental trap helps us forget that very important truth and it is not just in the gym or the bathroom mirror that this happens. There are plenty of “philosophile” Catholics (and others) who pour over books just for the sake of the knowledge, not to teach but to show it off. Trying to be Gandalf but never Samwise. (If you ask nicely I will write another post to explain what I mean). We are going to die, and our lives should be lived for others. Learn for the sake of teaching others, strengthen for the sake of being others strength; the true Christian life is one of servitude and selflessness.

The moment I broke from this trap I started running more, I started wanting improvements not for myself but for those around me. I wanted to be a healthier husband and father. I wanted to be a good example to my friends. I wanted to improve in the sports I was interested in to help others grow. The discipline I could learn in those areas translated to schoolwork and other areas of life. I didn’t want to just accumulate knowledge for myself; I might want to teach someday. Suddenly there wasn’t just a tunnel vision prophesy of how I thought I was supposed to look but who I could be to the people around me. So yeah, Self improvement is masturbation… when all you see is yourself.

The Shadow Proves the Light

Humans like to feel good. Humans like to feel happy. Humans are silly creatures.

There is a difference between living joyfully and feeling happy. Joy springs from the well of the divine, from our hearts. Happiness is a reaction, and can be shaken. Joy is a cause. All too often are we torn from happiness by some great cataclysm of life but it is in our darkest times that we are never closer to the Light.

Darkness and despair is a tricky subject to tackle, but here in the Easter season we are to be joyful at the victory of Christ’s Sacrifice and what happens when that feeling fades? Ol’ Clive Staples had it right as he described the Christian life as a series of waves that rise and fall. We have an experience and it elevates us to an almost manic state of happiness and elation in the light, and then we and dipped back into shadow as we come down from that mountain, like Moses returning from meeting God only to come back to his people worshipping a cow. We all experience this of course. The funny thing is we tend to know that good times do not last forever but we tend to assume the bad will. It is our nature to yearn for those feelings of happiness and to see beauty in life again and so when the going gets rough we tend to chicken out.

I find myself thinking should we be just as grateful for dark times in our lives? They do provide opportunities for growth and to strengthen ourselves. The truth is the dark and hard times should be uplifting. The shadows cast on the wall only prove the source of light. The bad things that happen in this world can leave us broken and weak but all we have to remember is that it ends, that we can see it through. 

We have such a richness of faith, and the Sacraments that provide us with such grace to lift our hearts out of darkness but we must act. Robert Frost’s “Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening” gives us the image of a man standing between two images: A frozen lake and a snow filled woods on the darkest night of the year. I see every one of us in that image; standing between God’s endless forest and Hell’s Frozen Lake in the darkest hour, contemplating the journey ahead. 

Our Dark night of the Soul comes to an end eventually but it always seems like Winter in Narnia: “Always winter but never Christmas.” We can see each other through a harsh winter. We can Love our neighbor and our enemies. Like campers in the cold night in the wilderness we are drawn closer to the light of the fire. I believe we can stay joyful in the dark times and that is what makes the love of God shine in the world. We should be grateful for our winters because we are never closer to God or to each other. Eventually, somewhere in Narnia the snows start to melt, the sun breaks the clouds, and you might even hear sleigh bells in the distance. (Dibs on the Sword.)

Also give this song a listen: Even the Winter by Audrey Assad

Easter: It all leads up to this.

      I love the Easter Triduum. The symphonic rises and falls of the Liturgical Year reach its great Crescendo at the Vigil. Easter makes the entire year a meaningful journey. If the Annunciation was the moment the Universe held its breath, then Easter is when it exhaled. It is because of Easter we have the Church and Her Priests. We have poetry, art, music and all inspired things that profess the beauty of this world magnified and made ever more beautiful by the victory won by the Resurrection.  I love that moment, when we hear the Gloria for the first time in weeks at the Vigil, that hair-standing-on-end moment of loud happy praise of the Glory of God. The bells ring, the lights turn on, and we see the Kingdom of God revealed before us. It is as if we are opening our eyes to a new world of hope and victory. Easter gives everything we do purpose. Every action small and great done by the Church is given a deeper purpose and meaning through Death’s Defeat. Without Easter, Christmas would just be another birthday.

     Today is Holy Thursday. It is the beginning of our New Beginning. Today we remember the establishment of the Eucharist at the Last Supper: The climax of the Greatest Love Story in all of history. The moment we re-experience every time the priest places his hands over the altar; the moment when God, the Creator, chose to suffer for his Creation, a Creation that chose to commit deicide. God, who is Love, allowed his own creatures to thrust him so low so that He might lift us up out of the muck and filth. Our own propensity to brutalize and kill was used to facilitate our salvation. Today, we remember that God not only chose to do this once, but established a Sacrament through which this Sacrifice would be experienced again and again. This Sacrament, brings God to us, brings us into Him, and is the Source of all Love. It is the Love from which all other loves flow. When we receive this Love, we become the vessel through which this Love flows.

     We hear that we become living tabernacles. Consider that image. WE are the CONTAINER that is to carry Love into the world. In the most humble way I will say: we become the vessel which contains the Center and Source of Love, A vessel that All the Heavens and Earth bow to what is contained within. All Souls, great and small, Angels and Demons, Light and Shadow, must bend the knee to the Presence that is carried within us at that moment. We contain what the Angels and Saints love, and the Enemy and his demons FEAR: Love that shakes the foundations of the universe, Love that changes what love is. We carry Love that shattered Death’s finality, won us eternal life, and won us a victory to a battle that we fight today. We already have the outcome of the war. Love wins. Carry on.

I love Easter.

Dressed to Pray, or Something Else?

     I want to keep this one short, but it has a point. I was in a conversation with a good friend and he mentioned to me someone he knew who made a rather big deal about someone wearing shorts to pray in the Adoration Chapel. I am sure this well meaning fellow saw this as an opportunity to educate someone on the proper dress when approaching the Lord and what a missed opportunity it was! Imagine saying “Is THAT what you are wearing?” to someone who simply wants to go pray. The simplest remarks could turn a person from yearning piety to shameful aversion.

      I have been on the receiving end of such scorn, in Mass no less. Let me set the record straight I do own a suit and some nice clothing BUT there was a time when I did not, and my nicest clothes were still packed. (Nicest being a polo and jeans without holes in them) So here we are, my wife and I, in a new town, going to Mass at a parish that apparently had a dress code. I get it we want the congregation to look nice. In no way were we dressed as slobs but I was not wearing a fine suit or anything either. Like I said, polo and jeans. We did get looks throughout Mass but the icing on the cake was the literally “once over” look we both received from a Eucharistic Minister who in this order: Held the Body of Christ in her hands, looked my wife from head to toe, rolled her eyes, and mumbled “The Body of Christ.” I swear if I had been wearing shorts she might have refused us Communion!

     Now this brings to mind several things. What if some poor soul stumbled into that Mass after the worst day of work in his life, dirty and tired, with no time to come home, and in a state of desperate need for love? What if that look I received had been given to him? If our dress is regarded as a prayer then should we not go into the quiet place of our heart and, you know, not worry about what the other guy is wearing. Maybe that guy in shorts or jeans is like the poor woman at the well who gave her two coins. The nicest I have had at times, my two coins, have been a pair of jeans and a nice shirt.

      I do like dressing up nice for Mass. I really do, but I am not about to flaunt it as though it is the highest and almighty good, or that it is the requirement to come before the Lord. Certainly some will argue: You would dress as nice as you could to see the President! Yes that is true but I don’t plan on having a relationship with the President, nor do I put God on such a low level as to compare him to a politician. He should be held in much higher regard than that. He is the ruler and Creator of All. So if you think about it, if we were to come before the Lord as he wants us, as he sees us, then we would all be naked.

Quick! Tie me to the Mast!

In the series A Song of Ice and Fire, the character Mance Rayder makes the interesting comment that men must have someone to bend a knee to. While he spat this as an insult it does ring true. Humans have a propensity to gravitate towards leaders, have people they look up to, and are, no matter what we think, servants.

What's that? You aren't a servant? of course not how silly of me to assume. you can leave the room now, OK now let's get back to it. Yes. Slaves. We are kidding ourselves if one of us wakes up one morning and says "Oh yes, I am in complete control of what is going on!"

The truth is that we have to, at some level, acknowledge that we are not in control. We are following some code of behavior or thought that has us chained. What are we chained to? Christianity is a religion of paradoxes. Eternal life was won through death, and in order to be free we must be servants. Of course our silly human brains hear this and think "How dare God claim I should be a servant to anyone? Should I not be free?" It is our nature to rebel against this and that is why it is all the more beautiful when a person rebels against their own broken nature and links their mind, body, and heart to serving the Lord.

The truth is, we are put into slavery no matter what we do. The free thinker is still subject to his own ideas and experiences. He is a wanderer without a map. The Congregation of the Amalgamated Church of the Spiritual but Not Religious are still lost to the extend that they have a destination but no directions or guide. The sinful are slaves to their sin. So that is the choice, bond one way or another. While there is another choice, it is certainly the worst of the three: we can always not choose! (which is still a choice) Not taking the servitude of one Master or another leaves one without quarter. It leaves one to stagnate in the cold darkness of the night. To be bound to an ideal or belief is to be pulled in the direction of it, and we must always be aware of the direction we are be led. We are not called to be blind, but to follow. This is true in life and in the everlasting life. BadCatholic wrote a piece on Heaven that was more intelligent and elegant than I can hope to write today. He has it right though, Heaven is an absolute forward motion. "Further up and further in" as my good friend C.S. Lewis would say (I can say that because he isn't around to defend against such allegations like being associated with me). We are Ulysses, tied to the mast, with the world spinning around us but being pulled ever towards our goal: home. Whose mast have we lashed ourselves to? Where is this boat heading exactly?



You guys know how to steer this thing right??

We are all indentured servants working off our debt to our Masters. The question is how will the Master treat us once we are free. For Catholics, in the midst of Lent especially, we have cause to examine who the Master of our spiritual home is. We give ourselves away by our actions. By making our actions an imitation God, who loves, and making God the master of the house, then we free ourselves from bondage only to bind ourselves to a Master who wants to pull us forward, and make us new.

Saints of the new Millenium, Assemble!

It is no secret that I am super excited for The Avengers. It appeals to the comic book fan, the Joss Whedon fan, and the action movie fan in me all at once. One of the things that sets Marvel comics apart, for me, is the humanity of the characters. DC's Batman, and Superman are all seemingly the god figures of a mythology, but Spider man, the X-men, and The Avengers are all very human with very human flaws. Portraying our heroes with some sort of tragic flaw adds a layer of relation to the character because we are all flawed beings. We all have our weaknesses, and unlike Superman's Kryptonite, our weaknesses are from within ourselves.

So that leaves me asking which Avenger am I? Which weakness do I carry in my faith and how I live my life? Am I:

Tony Stark/Iron Man: (addictions aside) Am I the flashy one? Do my arrogance and aloofness leave me segregated from my fellow heroes? Is it hard for me to accept their help or acknowledge they are right and I am wrong? Do I think that I am somehow more qualified than the rest of the world?

Thor: Is it a different kind of pride that I have? Do I think I am invincible? Do I lack humility?

Bruce Banner/The Hulk: Is there something within me that I fear so much that i simply run? Is what I think to be my weakness actually my gift and strength? Do I hide my light from the world and thus fail to work to save it?

Steve Rogers/Captain America: Do I feel purposeless? Do I feel like i belong to another world, or another time, and that my gifts have nothing good to offer this world?

or am I something else entirely?

In what is sure to be a tense moment in the movie the main antagonist (that we know of) Loki is asking "How desperate are you that you would call upon such a creature?" referring to if not one but all of the members of the superhero team brought together by Nick Fury. I am sure we often find ourselves asking God the same question, referring to ourselves, or sometimes to others. It usually sounds something like "I am not worthy." (hopefully some of you read that in your best Monty Python accent!) The point is not that we are not worthy but we were chosen despite that! Despite our weaknesses and flaw we have been given a task to be stewards of the world and to be a light of love when there is no hope! When Jesus picked his apostles He did not go find the most upright citizens in town, he picked the weak, working men, some who would deny Him. He had to know they would fail him, but He called them out anyway because He knew their potential. So Christ assembled his team, and has called us to so assemble.

The orders are simple: make the world better, by loving one another.
Clothe the naked, feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, care for the sick.
Love each other as you are so loved. Sin or no sin, we are all deserving of that love.

As Catholics we have a unique set of individuals to look to for inspirations. The Saints! From the Early Church to Modern Day there are stories of flawed men and women answering the call to make the world a better place. These are the heroes who existed and walked the same Earth we do, with the same struggles, and felt called to serve. They let their gifts shine as a light to the world in times of darkness.

We have the same call. John Paul II himself said in his World Youth Day address: "Young people of every continent, do not be afraid to be the saints of the new millennium! Be contemplative, love prayer; be coherent with your faith and generous in the service of your brothers and sisters, be active members of the Church and builders of peace." Read the whole thing here (It's a good one)

ASSEMBLE!!

If that doesn't sound like a call to form the Justice League I don't know what does! WE can be the heroes, WE can be the Saints, WE can inspire the future generations to take care of one another. What we don't have to do is be flawless about it. Fall down, get back up. Easy as that.

Scum and Villainy

DISCLAIMER: I actually like all of you. I do not think we are scum this the result of and for the purpose of introspection. END DISCLAIMER

Don't take this personally but I think we are all thieves and con artists.

See:

Note: You aren't this cool about it either...

 I am wholly convinced that we are committing highway robbery on a daily basis. Now I want you to put down the blunt instrument you are reaching for and stop looking up my address. Here is what I mean:

We are robbing God. It is not like we can help it but we are loved on a level that cannot be comprehended. This love is what we are called to imitate. (Christian? Christ-like?) Stop asking how we swindle God, I am getting there, in fact, here it is. God freely bestows his unending, unconditional grace and love upon us. What do we offer in return? How often do we haggle the buying price? Though, we are already bought and paid for. In His great Love for us did he not, in the ultimate act of humility, pay the greatest price for us? This is what we believe. Yet we still haggle and ask for a better deal, as if that were possible. Unconditional love, traded for a bit of conditional love here and there sounds good right? Were it you or I being offered that deal  I am certain we would have none of it! However, despite this He willingly takes the deal! Even as we are raking him over the coals he allows it because we are so loved! God takes our imperfect love and magnifies it. He returns our human love with so much more.

It is not only in this way that we find ways to cheat God. When we claim to follow God and fail to live up to what that means we are like thieving employees. We are the guys skimming off the top. We are cutting the corners here and there, testing what we can get away with. That always turns into more and more. We are reluctant to accept the difficulty of what is asked of us. Loving the world is hard. We want an easier way to do things so we always look for shortcuts, or the minimum acceptable amount of work. The thing is no one ever said this was going to be easy. Christ, the God-man Himself, said that it would actually be very very hard to follow in His footsteps. This is why it is ever more important that we learn to love each other. We carry each other through the hard times. Christian, non-Christian, it applies to all. We were asked to love like God to glorify God, BY LOVING OTHERS. That is never going to be easy.

Simply put God loves us, asks us to love like Him and put it to action. What is He getting in return from us?
Here we are in Lent and it is time to evaluate how we love. Can we ever be perfect imitations of Christ? no that is why we need eternity. Everyday presents the chance to make ourselves better than yesterday. In order to be efficient at this we must not just acknowledge our shortcomings but ACCEPT them. Embrace that truth "I am not perfect, i can always improve." Lent is for finding the corners we cut, and returning the 5 dollars we took from the register, and taking on the responsibility of being a true, loving, holy Catholic at a fair price. Otherwise we are nothing more than: (I'll let Alan Rickman take us home)

...an exceptional thief.